Up all night

Emmett kept me up until 4:30 am the other night. As I was drowsily changing his diaper, he looked up and smiled at me. What a charmer! I think it may have been a real smile this time, but it wasn't the first. He gave his first real smile to grandma Leslie. I am okay with this because 36 years ago, I gave my first real smile to Sarah Darlington, an elderly neighbor of my grandparents who had a particularly high voice. My mother was very hurt by this, so I think it's only fair that Emmett gave his first smile to her.

Here is a picture of Emmett smiling in his sleep, taken by his aunt Annie. Who knows? Maybe aunt Annie really got his first smile!

Smile

I can't wipe the smile off my face, I love my baby so much. Sometimes when I feed him he puts his hand on my heart. There isn't a hole there anymore.

Photo by Emilie

Our darling baby is one month old today! Many thanks to our neighbor and dear friend, Emilie Ralph, for doing a mini photo shoot for us. Otherwise Emmett's life thus far would only be documented via iPhone cameras. :) To see more of Emilie's work, or to book your own photo shoot, please visit www.photobyemilie.com!

We love Emmett!

Tyson and I had a terrific experience on Saturday. Someone asked us if we have any children. For the first time ever, we were able to say, "yes". It felt really good.
Emmett is already a momma's boy. We are happy and sleepy and doing great!

Emmett Christian Haslam

Emmett Christian Haslam
Born Tuesday, October 2nd at 8:34 a.m.
7 pounds 14.8 ounces 19 inches
We love our baby boy!

Happy Spring!

I'm not sure how many people really see our blog, but if there's anybody out there, my apologies for not posting. 3 failed adoption opportunities in 2 months. I don't want to gripe about it, and you really don't want to hear it!
On a happier note, spring is here, and the weather is great! We are doing fine. We are enjoying our families, and I LOVE being in school.  Tyson thinks I'm a little crazy for my love of school, but it's true, I cried all the way home from college graduation.  It feels great to be back! 
Love you all.  Thanks for your prayers!
Tyson and Katie

Birthmom

As hard as infertility is, someday Tyson and I will be parents, and will feel great joy in our children.  I feel sad a lot because of infertility, but in the adoption story there is another mother that feels love and pain: the birthmother.  One of these days, we will meet a very brave woman, and I've been thinking about her a lot lately.

What will she be like?  I don't know, but I'd like to think she will turn out to be a dear friend.  I feel scared to meet her, but I'm sure she will be scared to meet us.  I hope we can make her feel loved and appreciated-- and comfortable around us.

I know I won't understand the grief she will experience.  I know I won't be able to thank her enough.  I also know I won't fail her in being a good mother to her child.

I can't carry a child, but I feel like there are children meant to be in my family.  Is that all a birthmother is?  A one time conduit between us and our baby?  I think she is more. 

Happy New Year!

I want to write about how I'm feeling so I don't forget.  I just have this feeling that everything will work out when the time is right, and our little one will join our family.  Important to remember when times get discouraging!

I feel encouraged right now for so many reasons.  At the start of a new year we have so much to look forward to!  I start school again this month- so excited to finish my Masters!  It's a time for goals and renewal.  I even made dinner the past two nights-- it's a miracle!

There are so many people that light up my life right now.  I had a nice chat with my friend Brenda the other day, who knows EXACTLY what we are going through.  So nice to talk with someone who literally understands.

Also, my friend and neighbor Emilie Ralph offered to update our photos for our adoption profile!  Didn't they turn out so cute?  Em is a fantastic photographer!  If you are looking to get your family pics done or take a class on how to use that camera you got for Christmas, check out her website at http://www.photobyemilie.com/! 

I'm also feeling gratitude for my awesome family!  My parents are amazing.  I can always depend on them.  They never let me down.  My husband is so kind and patient with me.  We always have fun together.  So glad I married you honey!  My siblings are so great--they are my best friends.  And Tyson's family members are the greatest inlaws I could ever hope for.  I love each one of them dearly.

Happy New Year everybody!

Katie